Where Do We Go From Here?
by EveryMe.EveryYou
Summary: Sequel to Somebody Else's Song. When the people who love us leave, how can you go on pretending to be okay? R&R
1. Prologue: It's Too Late

Prologue: It's Too Late

**Pools of sorrow waves of joy  
>Are drifting thorough my open mind<br>Possessing and caressing me**

**Across the Universe – The Beatles**

James POV

I don't know what's happening. Nobody tells me anything anymore. It's almost like the world is moving at the speed of light and I'm standing still. My sister is holding my hand with tears streaming down her face. I haven't said anything to comfort her, but it's not like she deserves it.

Scorpius is on my other side looking nearly as lost as I feel. I guess he can't feel her anymore, I know I can't. My father is pacing on the other side of the cramped room and my mother is nursing a baby in her lap. Grandma Molly looks like death, we all know better than to speak.

We all look up at the first sign of movement from the other side of the door. A healer walks out and glances around the huge group in the waiting room.

"Mr Potter," My father and I both glance up but we both know who she's talking to. "I'm so sorry; there was nothing we could do. She was already gone."

I know I'm too old for tears, I'm supposed to be the strong one. My family deserves that much after all that I did to them. But what else are you meant to do when the person who means the most is gone?

* * *

><p>AN: So there's the prologue. I know it's short and doesn't have much to do with anything but I do have an idea where this story is going to go, kinda. :/ So just bear with me. R&R!


	2. Chapter 1: I Miss You

A/N: So here's chapter 2. I've decided I'm probably going to update about twice a week, probably on monday or tuesday and friday or saturday. On with the read. :)

Chapter 1: I Miss You

**Just trying to help,  
>Hurt everyone else,<br>Now I feel the weight of the world is  
>On my shoulders<strong>

**Get It Right – Lea Michele (Glee Cast)**

_**SPOV**_

**June 5, 2021**

_Andy, when are you going to come home? We miss you._

...

**June 12, 2021**

_This is getting stupid, Andy. Just come home, you've made your point. Molly misses you, Rose barely speaks to anyone since you left. Even James-_

The connection cut off quickly.

...

**June 24, 2021**

_So Rory had her baby this morning. It's a girl if you were interested._

...

**June 30, 2021**

_Are you ever going to answer me, Andy? You leave practically without a word and then ignore me for an entire month. I miss my best friend._

_Sorry, I'm not coming home._

The connection snapped shut, like a metal door closing between our minds. I sighed. It was the first time I'd heard her voice, or more her mind, since she walked out on everything she'd ever known almost a month ago. Every time I fell asleep she seemed to be still awake, not that strange considering the time difference, but she seemed to be doing a lot better than I'd expected.

I always just assumed that she'd come crawling back to Molly and Arthur after a couple of weeks but I guess I was wrong. I know her better than anybody in the entire world and I never would have guessed that she'd stick at this as long as she has.

Of course, my life doesn't revolve around my sister. I have a life too. A lot has happened since my sister left. For one, James and Rory got back together, much to her pleasure. He always seems just as you would expect, miserable, but that was before Delilah was born. Every time he looks at her his face lights up. It's kind of like the way he used to look at Andy now I think about it.

I felt a slight tug in the back of my mind when I thought of James. I knew instinctively that it was Andy.

_I know you're there._

She remained silent but I could still feel her in my mind.

"Scorp," I heard a voice say. I looked up into the brilliant green eyes of Albus Potter. "Man, where are you today?"

"Sorry, Al," I answered quietly and turned my attention back to the game of wizard chess we were playing.

"Knight to E5," Al called out triumphantly as he took my king for the third time in a row. "You really need to pay attention, man. You could have beaten me a half hour ago." I sighed. "How is she?"

I looked up and he was staring at me, all his attention now focused on me. "She isn't talking to me," I mumbled. He kept staring.

"And how are you?"

"How do you think I am? My sister has dropped off the face of the Earth and I'm stuck here in England."

"Wow," he stated. "I didn't know you wanted to leave."

"I don't, I just don't like not being around her."

We sat in silence. We both turned around when we heard the front door snap closed. James walked in, his keys in his hand.

"Hey guys. You haven't seen Lilah's blast-ended screwt toy have you? You know the one from Hagrid."

"Nah, bro, sorry. Say, how is that little niece of mine."

James went on to gush about his daughter. Usually I didn't mind but as he spoke I started to get mad. Really mad.

_Stop that,_ I whispered through the link, even though I knew nobody else could hear me.

_I will when he does._

I was shocked. She never spoke back, even when I knew she was there. She must have felt it because she burst into a fit of giggles.

_When are you coming home?_ I tried, hoping desperately that she would stay in his mind a little bit longer.

There was silence for a moment. _I'm not actually. Mum came to Bulgaria. She was really proud of me. We had a really long talk about all the stuff she said at the Weasley's on Christmas and me leaving her and Dad. She was just proud I made the right choice in the end._

_And you think you did, make the right decision I mean._

_Well we're still engaged, but Ivan and I are taking it slow. I was in a bad way when I showed up here. He's a really great friend._

_As long as you're okay._

That's when I noticed that James was staring at me. He had this weird look on his face, like he was studying me.

"Are you talking to her?" he asked quietly, looking down at the keys that he still held.

"She's doing okay. She's happy you're happy." I didn't feel the need to say more and my tone told him that I wasn't going to even if he pushed me.

"That's good. I should get going. I promised Rory I'd be back in an hour."

I stared after him, feeling everything that I knew Andy didn't want me to.

...

_APOV_

**June 3, 2021**

Ivan didn't push me when I showed up on his doorstep practically unannounced. He took one look at my face and pulled me into a hug. I was glad he didn't ask questions. I don't know what I would have told him if he had have asked why I was here.

He took me for a walk around the grounds of his family's mansion. It was beautiful. I never realised how beautiful Bulgaria was, but then again, I'd never been there and I'd only seen it as Scorpius had. The ground was covered in snow, and I really felt like I was in a winter wonderland. Of course it wasn't only the Bulgarian landscape that held my attention.

Ivan was just as I had remembered him, if not a little taller. He wore a large fur coat that did his build no justice at all. I knew under all those layers he was built for speed. He didn't like to draw attention to it, but Ivan Krum was one of the best Quidditch players in the world. He'd only just graduated from Durmstrang, with honours, but already nearly every Quidditch team in the league, excluding the Harpies of course, wanted to get him.

He talked to me about his problems regarding Quidditch and I listened, I even managed to forget my own problems for a little while.

"I know we're avoiding the subject but why exactly did you have such a change of heart?"

This was the moment I'd been waiting for. I took a deep breath and looked at him. "I was at school and everything just became a little overwhelming, I guess. I felt like I had nowhere to go."

He stared at me, confusion crossed his features briefly but he quickly slid a smile onto his face. "I heard you had a boyfriend. James Potter. I also heard a rumour that he got a girl pregnant." I winced. "I see. Did he cheat on you," he asked hesitantly.

"No!" I answered a little too quickly. "At least I'm 99% sure he didn't. He's not even the reason I left really, it was just everything. I guess Hogwarts wasn't a good fit for me."

He nodded. We walked on in silence. "That is not true. I know it kills you to be away from your brother even for a day," he said softly after a while.

I stopped walking and he followed suit. "I'm getting pretty tired, I think I'm gonna go have a lay down." I walked away before he could say anything else.

...

**June 16, 2021**

I walked into the huge dining room and sat at the table. A house elf placed a platter of food in front of me and I dug in. I'd only been here a fortnight but I was already well into the swing of things. Ivan was sitting opposite me but he barely looked up from his newspaper when I walked in.

It felt like we were already an old married couple that was losing interest. I'd barely finished breakfast though when he threw something at me from the other side of the table. I caught it clumsily and looked at it. It was an envelope made of thick, creamy coloured parchment with my father's neat, loopy writing covering the front. I turned it over and tore it open. A letter, only half a page long was sitting inside. I carefully pulled it out and stared at it.

_Andromeda,_

_I know we have had our differences in the past but you can understand my happiness when I found out that you had come to your senses. I assume that the wedding is back on considering the fact that you now live in Bulgaria with Victor Krum's son. Your mother and I are hoping to come and visit you this morning and discuss you possibly coming back to live with us. I know it would make your mother happy. She misses you more than anything. _

_I will be there around ten o'clock._

_Signed: Draco Malfoy_

I stared at the parchment, a blank look on my face. "Is this a joke?"

Ivan nearly spat out his food as he laughed. "No, they will be here in about twenty minutes. I suggest you dress up a little more. Make an impression."

I shook my head but didn't say anything. I ran upstairs to my room, or the room I had been staying in, and closed the door behind me a little harder than I had meant to. I opened my closet, which could have rivalled the one I had at Malfoy Manor and pulled out the first green dress I saw.

It was emerald green and strapless with a skirt that sprang out from the waist. It was a little too dressy but I didn't care. I threw it on and dragged a brush through my hair. Looking in my reflection I would have thought that I was going to ball, not just seeing my parents.

...

I'll be the first to admit that I was nervous, but as I walked down the grand staircase twenty minutes later to greet my parents the weight lifted completely. I saw them standing in the entrance hall looking slightly nervous as well. My father, nervous? Never! He placed his hand on the small of my mother's back and whispered something in her ear.

They both turned as I approached. "Oh," I heard my mother say as I stepped forward.

"Hello Mother, Father," I said, greeting them both in turn. "How have you been?"

Before Father could answer, Mother pulled me into a tight hug and squeezed me until I almost couldn't breathe. "Thank goodness you're okay. It scared me half to death when I got an owl from that Weasley woman saying you'd run away."

I smiled into her shoulder. She pulled away and studied my face worriedly. My Father stood away from us, as if he were unsure if he wanted to hug me or run away from me.

"It's good to see you, Father," I managed. He just stared at my face. "I was happy to receive your letter this morning," I tried again.

"I didn't think you'd want to see us after what we said to you at Christmas."

I raised an eyebrow. They were actually worried about me? "That doesn't make sense," I said more to myself than anyone in particular. Mother looked as if she wanted me to elaborate. "I just mean that Scorpius is obviously your favourite and it makes sense that you'd care more about seeing him than seeing me."

My father shook his head slightly. "We have a lot to talk about and I don't think we should stand here in the entrance hall. Shall we?" I led the way into the sitting room and, thankfully, Ivan had sense enough to go to training today.

I took a deep breath as my father began talking.


	3. Chapter 2: Days Go By

A/N: Sorry this one took so long to get out, I would usually make up some excuse but really, I'm just pretty lazy. So this one is about 1000 words shorter than usual but it's really just filling you in on everything I didn't include in the last chapter so that now Andy and Scorpius are up to speed with each other, so to speak. Now that my little rant is over, onward with the read :) (and don't forget about those reviews/subscriptions/favourites because they rock my world!)

Chapter 2: Days Go By

**Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?  
>And all the reasons that make loving you so easy<br>The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe  
>The way you know just what I mean<strong>

**I Just Can't Live A Lie – Carrie Underwood**

**June 16, 2021**

'So let me get this straight,' my father said, a crease forming above his eyes, 'James Potter got another girl pregnant and didn't tell you about it so you ran away from school to live in Bulgaria.'

I pursed my lips slightly. 'Not exactly, it's a little more complicated than that. I just sort of decided that I wanted to come home and since I wasn't welcome at the Manor I came here.'

'Well we're so glad you did, Darling!' Mother gushed. 'We regret everything we said to you at Christmastime. If we could take it back, you know we would.'

My lips turned up a little at the corners and Mother looked extremely pleased with herself. 'So you're not mad at me then?'

'No,' Father answered bluntly.

'And you want me to come back to England with you?'

'Yes.'

'But why?'

'Because,' my father leaned a little forward in his chair and focused his grey eyes on me for the first time since he had arrived, 'you're my daughter and it killed me to think that you would take complete strangers over your own parents. I've done a lot of thinking over the past few months and I don't want us to end up like me and my parents.'

I nodded slowly. It was true that Draco Malfoy had famously walked out on his family after the Battle of Hogwarts in which they risked everything to make sure he was still alive. He never spoke of Narcissa or Lucius to Scorp or I, and we knew little of what happened back then other than old articles from the _Prophet_, but what we did know was that all he had ever wanted was to get away from his past.

'I don't want to be like that either, Father,' I said quietly.

At this, he gave, well, not quite a smile but more of a twitch at the corner of his mouth. The three of us sat in silence for what felt an eternity.

'So, will you come home,' Mother managed, tear threatening to fall from her eyes.

I smiled. 'Yeah. Yeah I think I might. But I don't want Scorpius to know, okay. I don't him to come looking for me just yet.'

Father looked as if he was going to object but closed his mouth and nodded, his half-smile still playing on his lips.

**...**

**June 23, 2021**

I had moved out of Ivan's family home about four days ago and was still putting everything back in my old room. The Manor was beginning to feel a whole lot more like home, but still not as good as when I had lived with Arthur and Molly for the holidays that Scorp and I had managed to go home for.

For the most part, my parents had allowed me to settle in by myself but occasionally Mother had come to hover and see what I was doing. I liked it. We talked a little about school and the friends I had made. It seems she really isn't as dim witted as I had always assumed.

My father, on the other hand, still didn't seem all that interested to have me home. I guess he just used up all his caring in one go when he told me how much he loved me at the Krum house. The thought made me smile. It seems that Draco Malfoy doesn't have a heart of stone after all.

**...**

**June 24, 2021**

_So Rory had her baby this morning. It's a girl if you were interested._

That's it, my life is ruined, my world has shattered; I will never come back from this. James Potter, love of my life, is officially a father, to someone else's baby. And a girl! I bet it'll grow into the same type of manipulating, wretched hag that her mother is. Ha! That'd be rich. James Potter, the golden son of the golden boy having a disappointment for a child.

I know that's harsh, and it's not the kid's fault who her mother is, but honestly she doesn't stand a chance if she's brought up by _her. _I can't even stand to think about the two of them anymore. I read the _Prophet_ the other day and it said that they were happily expecting their first child.

I laughed. I actually laughed when I read that because I happen to know for a fact that James doesn't like Rory in the slightest. He thinks she's a mean-spirited bitch like that mother of hers. Whatever the kid's like, I hope she has his eyes...

...

**June 30, 2021**

So maybe jumping into Scorp's mind today was a bad idea, but I honestly wasn't expecting to have to deal with James. But the way he talks about his daughter... It got me thinking. He really does love her more than anything else. He's already a great dad and the kid isn't even a week old yet!

I knew I was letting way too much of what I was feeling into the bond, but I didn't really care. Scorpius knows how I feel about him, hell; it isn't hard to see how I feel about him even without a connection! I've been moping around for a month because of it.

That's when I really came to terms with everything that had happened in the last few months. I decided that I would try my hardest to get over James because he had a family, and I was determined to not be the 'other woman'. And that's when I made the decision that I would go back to Hogwarts. Maybe I wasn't quite conscious of it yet, but I knew I had to see everyone again, even if only to explain myself.


	4. Chapter 3: Everything Back But You

**A/N: **Ok, I know I was gonna update ages ago BUT I got lazy, no point making excuses. I know it's kinda short and I haven't gone through and edited but enjoy :) R&R

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: Everything Back But You<strong>

I know I could say we're through, and tell myself I'm over you  
>But even if I made a vow, I promise not to miss you now<br>And try to hide the truth inside, I'd fail 'cause I  
>I just can't live a lie, and I don't wanna try<p>

I Just Can't Live a Lie – Carrie Underwood

**August 15, 2021**

It had taken me almost a month to get up the courage to tell Father that I was going back to Hogwarts, but he really surprised me when I did. He hugged me and told me I was proud. Hell, he even told me I was being a good Gryffindor for braving everything I'd run away from. Normally I would have told him off for saying that I had run away, but I had finally learned to accept that I had.

Over the next couple of weeks I'd been talking to Scorpius infrequently. He knew I was back in England, and he knew I was going back to Hogwarts, something he was very happy about, but he also dreaded me coming back.

Though I never spoke of it, I knew that Scorpius was worried that I would try and take James away from his new family but that was the furthest thing from my mind. I was just focusing on getting back to Hogwarts in one piece.

Two weeks before the school term started, Mother and I went to Diagon Alley to get my new school books. We'd been wandering around shops for maybe an hour when I heard it.

At first I thought I was hearing things, who would be yelling at me? And then I was tackled. Baffled, I pushed Rose off me and we looked at each other, shock written over both of our faces. She then pounced on me once again, this time to hug me.

'Rose, what are you doing here?' I asked her as she helped me to my feet once again.

'We're here for our school books and Hugo wanted to buy a new broom, he's been saving all summer.'

I nodded slowly. 'Is Scorpius here then?' I asked tentatively. It seemed that Rose had forgiven me somewhat for leaving.

'Yeah, he should be around here somewhere...' She scanned the shops for a moment before locking her eyes once again on my face. 'Why don't you just find him with your mind?'

'Oh,' I said, 'yeah.'

Mother stood next to us, watching this exchange without speaking. A crease appeared between her eyes but still she remained silent.

I ran off with Rose to find my brother and when we did I was once again almost knocked off my feet.

'Andromeda Narcissa Malfoy,' he breathed in my ear, 'if you _ever_ do _anything_ like that again I will personally hunt you down and drag you home by your earlobe. Understand?'

I grinned. 'Yes, Scorp, I understand perfectly.'

We walked around shops for most of the day and we managed to buy everything we needed to for the next school year. We went into the Leaky Cauldron after we were done, I knew that was where I would find Mother and I heard a squeal.

'Andy! Where on _Earth_ have you been hiding for the past two months?' shrieked Laura Longbottom as she sprinted down the stairs of the pub. I laughed and we sat down and talked all day. Suddenly I was a lot more optimistic about the coming school year

**...**

**September 1, 2021**

I arrived at King's Cross at 10:15 sharp and found that I was almost the first one there. Both Mother and Father had come to see me off, but the second Scorpius arrived they made an excuse and left early.

As it turns out, James was going back to school this year while Rory stayed at home with Delilah. Needless to say I was not happy. While I had always known James' plan to finish school I didn't actually think he would go through leaving his daughter.

We stared at each other for a moment when he arrived but we both looked away as fast as we could. I wasn't ready to see him, I realised in those few seconds. I wasn't ready to face him.

'Andy,' his voice was quiet but it still felt like velvet to my ears, 'can I talk to you for a minute?'

_Help!_

For once my link stayed quiet. It seemed that Scorpius had finally leant the meaning of privacy and his timing couldn't have been better.

'Sure,' I managed to choke out.

I followed him to a more-or-less deserted part of the platform and stopped a few feet from him. He fixed me with his electric blue eyes and found that I couldn't look away, even though that was all I wanted to do.

'I'm really sorry,' he started.

I was shocked. 'You're apologising to _me_?'

'Well yeah...'

'But _I'm _the one that ran away on _you_.'

'You only did that because I did something stupid. And that's why I'm sorry, I made a total ass of myself, but I really can't make myself regret it.'

I smiled more to myself than anything. 'Yeah, I know. Scorpius has a pretty loud mind sometimes.'

He nodded slowly and we stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. 'So we're okay then?' James asked me.

'Of course we are,' I answered a little too quickly. We stood facing one another for a moment without speaking. I turned stiffly on my heel and walked away before I said anything too idiotic.

The train ride seemed to pass much more quickly than it had last year. Before I knew it the Weasley's and I were once again getting along like Hogwarts on fire. Well not quite, we avoided the subject of my summer but other than that everything was great.

I shared a horseless carriage to the school with Rose, Albus and Lily and Scorpius. Lily chattered away happily and we all laughed along.

'Oh, no!' Rose exclaimed suddenly as we passed the Hog statues at the entrance to the grounds. 'I only just realised!'

'What is it?' Scorp asked hesitantly.

'It's OWL year!' Albus started laughing and almost fell off his chair. 'Albus Severus, this is no laughing matter! This year could determine the rest of our lives. I haven't even started on the further reading list that Professor Grey gave us.' By then Rose was practically hyperventilating.

The carriages stopped gently and we climbed out, Rose still in hysterics. 'Whoa Rosie, what's wrong?' James asked as he climbed out of the next carriage.

'She just realised we're in our OWL year and she hasn't started on her further reading list,' Scorpius smirked as he told James.

James let out a short laugh. 'Trust me, you'll breeze through this year without a further reading list.'

'Yes James, but I would prefer to be a straight O student instead of a straight E student,' Rose bit back as she straightened her new prefect badge.

'Fine then, just don't get too caught up with homework to remember what school is really about.'

'And what's that?'

'Parties,' he replied simply as if it was obvious.

Rose laughed shortly and led us into the Great Hall. It was just as magnificent as I remembered. We took our seats at the Gryffindor table just as Professor McGonagall called for silence

The feast was delicious. I sat there talking to James, Albus and several other boys about Quidditch and watched my brother and Rose out the corner of my eye. I'd been catching glimpses of Scorpius' mind lately and it seemed that he might fancy our little Rosie. I thought it was sweet, but Ron and Dad definitely wouldn't be happy about it.

James showed me a photo of his Delilah. She looked just like him. She was small and pink with a round face, dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes. I couldn't help thinking there was something of Rory in there too. But of course there was. There was always going to be something of Rory in her.

And just like that all of the longing I'd been denying myself for the past three months came rushing back. I knew James was back with Rory, unhappily from the sounds of it, but I still wanted him back. And that's when I decided that I'd do anything I could to make him see that he should be with me.


	5. Chapter 4: Still In Love With You

Chapter 4: Still In Love With You

**You need to feel forgiveness  
>I need to feel resentment<br>Running down the drain  
>Bittersweet - Plumb<strong>

**September 2, 2021**

It honestly surprised me how easily I found living in the castle again. Life had been so hard for the past three months but I was glad that some things never change. As this year was OWL year the teachers got us straight into study as soon as classes began. I was happy about that though, there was less time for me to think about James.

James. Everything about him just made me long to be next to him again. His smile, his laugh, how fiercely he would protect his family. All of it. I wanted it all.

_Andy, you can't think like that. He has a family now._

_**I know he does. But you can't help what you feel.**_

_What about Ivan? Or our parents? You are the one that ran away to get this marriage thing back on track. _

_**I know, but they'll understand. It's not like…**_

'Andy?' I was suddenly ripped out of my head as I heard my voice. The whole class was staring at me. 'Andy, what answer did you get for question three?' Professor Grey asked.

'Oh, I didn't get that far,' I admitted.

'I'd like to see you after class.'

The rest of the lesson dragged on. Why would Rory's mother want to talk to me? Usually something like this wouldn't faze me, but after the summer I had I'll admit I was a little jumpy.

'Andy, could you come up to my desk please?' Professor Grey asked as the rest of the class filed out of the classroom.

'Yes Professor.'

'I wanted to talk to you about something pretty important.' She began. 'I want you to know that there are no hard feelings about some of the things that happened last year. I know you and Rory had a… a rough time but she's good now. I've never seen her happier and she actually says you're the reason for that.'

'I'm the reason?' I ask incredulously. 'Why on Earth would she think that?'

'To be completely honest I don't know. But I do know one thing. Today in class I saw a side of you that I didn't know existed. You were so spaced out that you didn't even know what was going on. This is a big year for you Andy. I know you took a couple of OWL classes last year but this year is a completely different story. You can't afford to get distracted. Today we did questions 1-20. I expect them completed and on my desk first thing tomorrow morning. And I know it goes without saying that it will be completed to the best of your ability. I'll see you later.'

'Thank you Professor.' I turned and walked out of the room as quickly as I could.

…

**September 4, 2021**

'Come on, Andy! Get up!'

I groaned and rolled over. I'd forgotten that Rose loved getting up early. I'd barely had a sleep in all summer and here she was waking me up on the weekend.

'Go away, Rose. It's too early to be alive yet,' I complained, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

'It's 10:30. I figure you've spent too much time lately running away from your problems. Time to face them head on!'

'Sorry,' I mumbled quietly. 'Didn't realise that it was that late.'

As I got up Rose started prattling on about something or other. Probably about all the homework we had already. I felt a little bad for not really listening but I was more interested in what Scorp was doing. I relaxed my mind and let myself drift into his consciousness.

_Scorpius was in the common room with Albus, James and a handful of Weasley's. James was showing photos of Delilah and Rory that he received by owl this morning._

'_How's Rory going?' Asked Al while he and Scorpius played wizards chess._

'_Yeah, she's alright. I think she's coping a lot better now. The first couple of months were hell, but she's getting better. Parvati even leaves to do groceries now.'_

'Earth to Andy!'

'Sorry?'

Rose raised an eyebrow. 'Snooping around Scorp's mind again?'

'I do not snoop! I was just having a look around,' I smiled. Rose could always see straight through me.

We went down into the common room and the conversation about Rory stopped.

_You shouldn't have been listening in on that. It wasn't your business._

_**Since when do you keep things like that from me?**_

_She doesn't want anyone to know. She's not coping well. James wasn't even going to come back to school this year. Now you know._

…

We all went down to lunch together and the subject of Rory didn't come up at all. I kept trying to find reasons to get James alone but to no avail. There really is no innocent reason for us to be alone together anymore.

_You're right. There are no innocent reasons. So stop trying to find one._

I sighed. How do you tell a guy that you're in love with him when you can't even speak to him?

'Hey, Andy, can I have a word with you?'

I looked up and James was standing above me. 'Yeah, of course.'

James led me out of the Great Hall and towards the common room. He didn't speak the entire time we were walking and he didn't look at me either. I was almost running to keep up with him.

_Don't do anything stupid._

_**I don't even know what this is about.**_

'James, where are we going?' I asked as he powerwalked away.

'To the common room. Everybody is at lunch and I didn't want anyone to overhear us.'

The walk felt like it took forever but in reality it probably took no longer than five minutes until I was climbing through the portrait hole with James.

'What's this about?' I demanded once we got inside.

'I just wanted a chance to talk to you about what happened a few months ago,' he said uncertainly. 'I wanted to let you know that it's okay that you did what you did. I understand completely why you left. I should have been honest with you from the start.'

'No, you don't have to do this. I'm the one that should say I'm sorry. I got too emotional and I didn't think about how all of it was affecting you. I was being selfish and I shouldn't have been.'

'But that's the thing, you weren't doing anything wrong. To be honest, you leaving is the best thing that could have happened. Even though being with Rory is really different than how it was with you, I wouldn't change it for the world. Delilah is everything I never knew I wanted. So thank you.' James pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged him back but for a very different reason.

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><p>AN: Hi guys, sorry about the wait. I've actually been receiving a few emails about this story lately so what the hell, I thought I'd *try* and finish it. I hope the 3 year wait was worth it. R&R let me know what you thought. Any constructive feedback? Let me know. Even if you just wanna abuse me for taking so long between updates, I love hearing from you guys :)

Ta, Rachel


	6. Chapter 5: All Is Not Lost

Chapter 5: All Is Not Lost

**Guess I should have seen it coming,** **  
>caught me by surprise…<br>I wasn't looking where I was going  
>I fell into your eyes<br>Addicted To You - Avicii**

**September 4, 2021**

_Andy, I-_

_**Don't. Don't say a word.**_

Scorpius had been trying to console me for over an hour. I went to hide in my bedroom because he can't get in. Too bad that doesn't stop him from barging into my head.

_**Leave me alone, Scorp, I'm perfectly fine. At least I have a definite answer now.**_

_I'm sorry. If I'd known he was gonna rip your heart out I would have-_

I put up a mental wall and blocked out my brother. This is just one of many reasons why I hate our stupid link. Sometimes you just want to be alone!

'Andy? Andy, are you in here?' Rose's voice drifted into the room. She pulled back the curtains on my four poster bed and looked at me. 'What happened?' She sat on the end of my bed. 'I'm not leaving until we talk about this.'

'It's nothing, just something stupid. I'm stupid. It's alright, really.' I didn't even sound convincing to myself.

'What did you guys talk about?'

I sighed. 'That's my least favourite subject at the moment. Anything else you wanna talk about?'

'Scorpius sent me up here to talk about you, not me. He said you're in a really bad way, which you obviously are by the way!'

_**Thanks for that. I told you I wanted to be alone and you send Rose to do your dirty work. Nice.**_

_I sent her up there because you're upset and I know you'd rather have her right now. Trust me._

'So Scorpius sent you. That's just so him. I really don't need anything. I told him that I want to be by myself.'

'Well, now I'm here and you're going to tell me what James said or I'll just go and ask him why you're so upset.' She started towards the door.

'No! You can't do that!' I said desperately. 'He can't know that I'm upset.'

'What did he say?'

I sighed again. I was going to cry. 'He told me that he's glad I left. That it's brought him all the happiness he never knew he wanted,' I told her between sobs.

Rose came back to the bed, sunk to her knees and pulled me into a tight hug. 'It wasn't fair for him to say that to you. Come on, girly,' she said stroking my hair. 'It's not like he's had it all smooth either.'

'W-what do you mean?' I asked, turning my tear stained face towards her.

'Well, for starters, he was shattered when you left. I've never seen him that low. He was like a ghost.'

I stared at her. 'But he keeps showing photos of his kid. And saying how great things are.'

'He's lying. Well, not quite lying. He's smitten with Lilah. She's so gorgeous. But Rory… Well, the healers say it'll get better with time but there's not much they can do. She has postnatal depression.'

'Oh…'

'Yeah, and then with you leaving and everything. Let's just say he hasn't had a great summer.'

I was stunned. Everything had seemed fine when I was peeking into Scorpius' head. How could I have been so wrong about everything? He did love me; he just didn't trust me because I broke his heart. 'I don't even know what to say.'

_He didn't want you to know. He said he didn't want you to feel even worse about leaving. He knew why you did it._

'He misses you, even if he won't admit it to himself. He and Rory are only together for Lilah. They both know it. I'll leave you to think,' Rose stood up and walked towards the door, pausing slightly. 'For what it's worth, I've always been rooting for the two of you.'

…

I went downstairs not long after Rose left. Scorpius had obviously been waiting for me in the common room. He jumped up the second he saw me and met me at the foot of the stairs.

'Are you alright?' He asked, searching my face for some sign that I was falling apart.

'Actually,' I said, feeling a lot more like myself than I had in months. 'I think I'm okay. Rose gave me a lot to think over.'

'Come for a walk with me.'

Scorp led me outside and we walked towards the lake without saying a word.

'I need to get something off my chest, and you can't get mad at me for saying this,' Scorp said, suddenly stopping and looking at me. 'You need to figure out what you want before you do anything. You crushed James when you left. He was like a shell of who he was. He looked like James and he talked like James but that was not James Potter. You almost ruined him.'

I went to protest but Scorpius stopped me. 'No, not this time Andy. James is a great guy and he loves you but I will _not_ stand by and watch you destroy him again. I know you were hurting too but I stand by what I've said.'

I opened my mouth but the words wouldn't come out. 'I want him.'

His face softened as he looked at me. 'I know you do. But that's what you said last time. Just be sure before you make a move.'

…

This wasn't what I was expecting when I came back to school. I was expecting that James and I would ignore each other and I'd just get on with my study. I definitely didn't expect that all of this would come back so fast. But that's what's so funny about love. You think you've lost it and you find it again, right where you left it. With him.

I'll be honest, I had no idea if I wanted to be with James or not. Imagine having a step-daughter at 15. What would my parents say? There was so much to think about. I just sat in the common room all night, watching everyone doing homework and playing stupid games. I could not stop thinking.

Before I knew it the room was empty except for me, Scorpius and James. I hadn't even noticed that everyone else had gone to bed.

'Well, I think that's about it for me,' said Scorpius as James beat him yet again at chess. 'Night, guys, I'll see you both tomorrow.'

_Good luck, whatever you're going to do._

'You've been quiet tonight,' said James, breaking the silence after a minute or two.

I laughed quietly. 'Yeah, had a lot to keep my mind occupied.'

There was more silence. Just as James looked like he was about to go to bed I said something. 'About what you said this afternoon about being glad I left, I disagree. I wish I hadn't have done it. I ruined everything. I shouldn't have run away and left you like that. A note was really cruel after all we'd been through.'

James just looked at me, not saying anything for a really long time. 'You can't be serious.'

'Wha-'

'No, you can't actually be serious. You left me a note. A _note_. That's all I was worth to you and now you've changed your mind again. I can't believe it. You are so selfish!'

'Selfish? I left you so that you could be a father without worrying about my feelings. I sacrificed my happiness for you,' I bit back, knowing exactly how those words would cut him.

'You sacrificed nothing! You ran away from your problems instead of standing and facing them. Yeah, I got Rory pregnant but I stayed and dealt with it. And if you had done the same you would know exactly why I think you're selfish. There were plenty of times when I could have run away and pretended that I had no responsibilities. I would have loved that! Instead I was at home with Rory. She couldn't even get out of bed some days, and others she couldn't even look at her own child. That's what my summer was like. How was yours?' he shouted, clearly furious that I would bring up the subject.

Tears streamed down my face. 'I spent my summer missing you. Regretting every single thing I said as I said it.'

'So what now? You've decided that I suit you now?'

I walked over to him, got as close as I dared, looked him straight in the eyes and said, 'I have never wanted anything more than I want to be with you.'

Before I even knew what was happening James' lips crashed into mine. I felt all of his pain, his anger, his love pour out of his body and into me. His kiss was warm and perfect, exactly as I remembered, well almost. He used to be loving and sweet when he kissed me but this time it was angry and sloppy. Raw. That was the word. This was the most raw kiss I'd ever experienced. The only thing I could feel were his lips on mine as we both fought for control.

After a while the kiss became slower, more loving. I didn't even realise I was crying until he kissed away my tears.

'Don't cry,' he murmured between kisses.

Eventually I broke away and rested my forehead on his. 'What are we doing?' I asked him softly.

'I don't know,' he answered honestly, 'what feels right I suppose.'

'You have Delilah to think about. We can't just do this every time we miss one another. That wouldn't be fair on either of us.'

He sighed, a lazy smile on his face. 'Well, where do we go now? I don't really want to pretend that didn't happen. But at the same time when I agreed to be Delilah's father I chose to be an adult. I have to put her first.'

'I wouldn't have it any other way.'

'So… where does that leave us?'

'It leaves us with a perfect goodbye kiss. Not goodbye forever, at least I hope not, but for now. At least until Rory gets better,' I said, not being entirely sure if I meant what I said.

He kissed me again sweetly. Without saying a word he walked up to the boys dormitory, reminiscent of our first kiss when I walked away from him. He glanced back at me quickly. 'Remember this.'

I smiled and nodded as he closed the door behind him. I walked up the stairs, deliriously happy, but that may have been the lack of sleep talking. That night I slept with a smile on my face.

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><p>AN: Well how's that? Two updates in one night! Guess I got inspired. I definitely like this chapter a lot more than the last one. Let me know what you think :)


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